You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if …
…The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.
You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if …
… People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch ‘em.
You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if …
… When the pastor says, “I’d like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering,” five guys and two women stand up.
You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if …
… Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if …
…A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because “It ain’t never been in a hole it couldn’tget out of”
You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if …
… The choir is known as the “OK Chorale”.
You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if …
… In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.
You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if …
… People think “rapture” is what you get when you lift something too heavy.
You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if …
… The baptismal font is a #2 galvanized “Wheeling” washtub.
You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if …
… The choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob’s Barbecue.
You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if …
… The collection plates are really hubcaps from a ’56 Chevy.
You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if …
… Instead of a bell you are called to service by a duck call.
You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if …
… The minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.
You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if …
… The communion wine is Boone’s Farm “Tickled Pink”.
You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if…
… “Thou shall not covet” applies to huntin’ dogs, too.
You know You’re in a Redneck Church if …
… The final words of the benediction are, “Y’all come back now, Ya hear”.
God Bless and don’t fergit ta say yer prayers!
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